Have you noticed the word “mindset” trending lately? People toss it around a lot — but have you ever stopped to think what it actually means?
If you had asked me five years ago to define “mindset” I would have given you a blank stare. Not because I didn’t know what it meant, but because…”who cares?” It wasn’t something I put much thought to. “Mindset” is just how you think, so what?
But some big life changes led me to putting some conscious effort into improving myself as a human being, and as a result, I have a much deeper appreciation for how mindset affects our lives — affects everything actually.
Mindset is not just how we think — it drives how we behave, how we treat others, how we show up for life. And I’ve learned that mindset is not fixed. It can be fluid and dynamic. You can improve it.
But what exactly is “mindset?” What does the word actually mean? Turns out, there is no consensus. If you google it, you’ll get several different definitions.
So I offer you my definition: Mindset is how you manage your thoughts. With a strong mindset, you control your thoughts. With a weak mindset, your thoughts control you.
Thoughts lead to emotions, and your emotions drive your behaviors. So if you want to have better behaviors, you need to have a better mindset. A stronger one, more robust.
But how do you strengthen your mindset?
By working it. Think of mindset like a muscle.
When you work a muscle, what happens? It gets stronger, able to bear more weight. It gets more defined, more prominent in your body. You can rely on it more. Same with your mindset.
And how do you build muscle — weight and reps, right? Same for mindset. The weight comes in the form of “tools” we use to improve our thinking. And the reps come in the frequency with which we use those tools. The more tools you use, and the more reps, the more robust your mindset will become.
Let me walk you through an example…
For this example, let’s use the tools offered by Don Miguel Ruiz in his book “The Four Agreements.” In his book, Ruiz gives us four little rules for living our best lives (or four “tools”).
The tools are:
- Be impeccable with your word
- Don’t take things personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Always do your best
Could you flip a switch and suddenly start living these rules consistently? No, of course not. You have to practice them, like going to the gym.
When you go to the gym for the first time, you’re probably going to start with low weight / low reps and gradually build up, right? Same with mindset. Start with one tool, a couple times a week, and work your way up.
Let’s use for our example Agreement #2 — “don’t take things personally.” Say you wake up one morning and decide to consciously remind yourself not to take things personally that day. At first, it might last a few hours. Your co-worker may say something that morning that would normally bother you, but you remember not to take things personally, so you blow it off. Victory.
But by lunch you’ve forgotten. When a different co-worker says something to set you off, you get annoyed and spend the next hour ruminating.
Time to increase the reps. Start reminding yourself more frequently. Go from once a day to twice. Then three times. Then every hour. Set a reminder on your phone. At some point, it will become a script that automatically plays in the background of your mind.
Before you know it, the snide remarks bounce off your chest like bullets off Superman.
Now it’s time to up the weight. Let’s add another tool — “don’t make assumptions.” Go through the same process. Once you get the second tool down, you have enough mindset muscle to remain calm and nonjudgmental — consistently— even when people around you do or say things that previously would have set you off.
How cool would that be? Priceless, right? It would lead to less judgement and more freedom. All because you did the WORK to engrain the tools into your conscious mind.
And that’s how you strengthen your mindset.
Obviously, there are a lot more than just four mindset tools. There are hundreds of tools, strategies, so called “hacks,” books, videos, etc. on how to improve your mindset and live a more conscious life. And demand for these tools is through the roof. The life coaching business, for example, has exploded in the past ten years. There’s a reason for it. People are looking for a better way to live.
But be aware — not every tool or strategy works for everyone. Different ideas resonate with people differently. So, if you try something and it doesn’t work, don’t get discouraged. Try something else. Also, it takes more effort for some people than it does for others. Some people can read one book and turn their life around. Other people see a therapist for years and get no results. For most of us, it’s going to be somewhere in the middle.
Building a better mindset takes work, patience and perseverance. But its worth it. Even a small shift in your mindset can completely upend how you perceive your life and the world around you.
Just think how much better life could be — if the only thing you did was to follow Don Miguel’s four little rules. Now think what could happen if you had ten tools in your toolkit, or 20, or 30?
All you gotta do is hit the (mental) gym!
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I hope you found this article helpful. If so, please share it — let’s help as many people as we can!
Want more mindset tips, tricks and motivation? Follow me on Twitter at @dale_shover.
You can also check out my brainwave entrainment soundtracks at neurotonz.com
